3.1 miles

Last July my parents fly me home for my birthday. They did it since I’d lost my job and was taking it kinda hard. Right before I got out there my sis-in-law called me and asked me to do the Milltown 5k. I said sure, but I would only walk since I hadn’t been running or training or working out at all. She said it would be fine.

Holy crap was it not.

I finished in 1 hour and 5 minutes. I was dead last by almost 30 minutes. It was embarrassing  They were packing up the line when I stumbled across it. I was red faced and exhausted. The 90 degree heat at 8 am didn’t help.

In December, I walked my second 5k. It was muggy and hot and I finished in just under an hour. I was quite proud of myself. I’d been working off an on with the sit to fit people but I was disappointed that I wasn’t running it. I was having lots of trouble breathing and it was great but awful.

Now, I’ve been working on a modified C25k program. I’d say technically I’m on week 4 but I switched to outdoor from a treadmill so I went back to week 2 so I didn’t push to hard. Basically, it’s 90 seconds of jog/run and 90 second of walk. with a 5 minute cool down/warmup. Over the weekend I got it in my head that I should do a whole 5k and see where I’m at. So I did it.

I finished at 54 minutes with 3.19 miles. It would have been faster but I had an 18 minute mile in the middle because of a phone call that I had to take. I also did most of the cycles, only skipping ones when I needed a longer recovery from a hill.

I feel really proud of myself about yesterday.

 

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The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon…

Everything is coming up running. Seriously, everywhere I have turned in the last few days I have heard something about running. There’s a cool science term for when that happens but mostly it’s just a great intro.

NPR had a great article/story this morning about the author of “Running Ransom Road: Confronting the Past, One Marathon at a Time” where he talks about how running changed his life, but not from a weight loss perspective and more of an addictive personality perspective. He credits it with saving him from alcoholism. I thought that was interesting and I plan on buying his book, which (I hope) is more about life & running instead of training schedules and times. You can check out the NPR article here.

Sit to Fit Update

So, last night was night number 3 of Sit to Fit. We added 10 minutes to our out and back time, which made our run about 30 minutes. My Nike+ didn’t record it 100% correctly, since it started after the warm up. Over all I didn’t notice the distance, I don’t think I ever do. I’m always thinking about the next walk section. We also did farther than this on the first night, so I wasn’t scared by the extra 10 minutes.

I was super cranky when I showed up for the run. I felt like I was running late because I was busy at work and while traffic wasn’t that bad I was still rushing around. I was very hungry and very thirsty (I hadn’t been good about drinking my water at work) and to top it all off I couldn’t find my arm band and had to just carry my phone. I was thinking of skipping and was making up excuses my whole way there. Thankfully they hadn’t started yet so I couldn’t get out of the run.

In the end I’m glad I made it on time. I was able to work out a lot of my crankiness and felt a lot better afterward. I did almost all of my sets, I only skipped 2 because my foot got number but I did run the final one, which is how I like to end. I’m glad I went, especially since every time I shave about a minute off my mile time. That in itself is awesome.

PCOS Update

Yesterday, I got some great news before my running group. I beat the deadline to get benefits from my work (so many hours in so much time) so I can finally stop stressing out about that. I’m not one to be accident prone or avoid activity because I might get hurt without insurance so it doesn’t affect running so much. I, unfortunately, had to stop taking my Methformin while uninsured and unemployed, which means I need to go to a doctor to restart. With insurance those items are actually cheap enough to afford, thank goodness.  This is good news, and hopefully it will start working in a week or two and I can get back on a path to a lower weight.

Sit to Fit #2: She will go all the way!

Thursday’s Sit to Fit (C25K but with a running group!) went a lot better on Thursday then Monday. Basically what happened on Monday is that we forgot to walk the first 5 minutes, so we ended up doing 15 minutes out, which meant we went farther, and didn’t warm up totally right. Thursday we remembered to walk the first 5 minutes and therefore didn’t go as far.

Monday:

 

I was able to complete all but 2 sets of the 2 minutes running and 1 minute walking. The first was at the end of the 10 minutes out, we turned around about 1 minute into a set and I got confused and ended up walking 2 minutes to a 1 minute run. The second was the last set. I was tired and did about 1 minute of running, and then walked at a fast pace and then ran the last 20 seconds so that I could finish running.

This time I went a lot slower, which really helped. I made sure to not really go much faster than my fastest walk. This way I was still working the muscles but not losing the energy as fast. I was surprised to find that I was still able to do the talk test during my last two full sets. Which is why I was able to complete almost all the sets, I wasn’t sprinting like I had been the first night.

Thursday:

Tonight is another night, but we up the time. Basically its 15 out and 15 back, so like last Monday but on purpose this time. I’m slightly nervous but my goals remain the same: do as many full sets as possible without harm and make sure to complete the last set either by running the full thing or running the last 30+ seconds.

 

Changes

It’s always interesting at how fast life can turn on a dime. Sometimes it feels like life is taking forever to get going, constantly waiting for something to happen or the next task to accomplish. Other times you barely have a second to breathe before the world has spun you on your head and you now have a completely new view of the world. For a while I’ve been waiting on things to happen, waiting for paychecks, vacations, moments when I can finally get a grip on life. These last 2 weeks my life has had huge swing of change and, while I’m handling it better than expected, I’m also amazed.

This blog is going to become a catch all for my life. I started this for a diet and its going to become another “this is my life blog”. I don’t know if people will care, my life isn’t that interesting but it’s nice to be able to write things down. Keep a record, have past and potential friends and employers know about me as more than just an email. But I run off topic. This is the warning, this space was meant for diets and will still be about that but I’ll probably talk about other things as well.

Back on track!  So last night I gave in and bought a huge cupcake with frosting and enjoyed the heck out of it. It was well worth whatever damage it will do to my diet. I’ve had a rough weekend of big highs and bad lows and I needed that special kind of love that only a really bad for you pastry can provide. Interestingly enough I’m down to 218.4 today. While I’m sure that number might do up later I choose to feel like my body was saying “That was a deserved cupcake…”

Bouncing Cupcake Company Cakes(Not the actual cupcake, but that’s about the size)

My life outside my diet is in a very interesting place right now. We make a decision and then the world changes, we react and then the world changes again. We went from considering declaring bankruptcy (that’s right) to sending me back to school to get a degree that will better suit my field, to none of those things. This all in a span of 3 or so days, talk about rollercoaster emotions! Now that school isn’t an option until I take care of some things, life is evening out a bit more. I’m working to get a handle on my student loans and finding ways that I can improve myself and my situation while staying in my budget.

This means I’m going to try to learn to program on my own. I was going to teach myself Java, but I’m going to start out simple and stick with JavaScript and PHP. These are two skills I should have for my field and it can only help me to know them. Maybe then I will work on learning Java. It looks interesting and I understand the concepts, it’s just a matter of spending the time. I’ve said that I want to do these things before but with placed like CodeAcadamy, “for Dummies” books, and the w3c online stuff, I’d be foolish to not try.

code acadamy logo

ec3school logo

Beyond schooling there have been some other developments. Dan, my guy, will likely be hired on full time with his company very soon. This means great things for us, like health insurance, paid time off for him, vacation for him, and some more job security. This has been a big hurdle for us in terms of starting a family. I’m feeling the motherhood bug pretty strongly but it wasn’t possible for a lot of reasons. Now it’s looking like it might be coming into the picture. One of the last hurdles for me is to find a more permanent job that offers the same things but that I can feel successful and have a lot more job security.

So, life. Yeah. It’s still crazy and all of this could change in an instant.  I think the great thing is that I finally feel like I can handle this. Unexpected things happen and, while I might need a little while to process and decompress it all, I don’t feel so out of my head.

Weekends

Weekends are usually the little deaths of my diets. During the week I have structure and schedules that keep me distracted. No time for hesitation, just doing what has to be done to get through the day. Work all day, then dinner at 6:30, exercise at 7, WoW/SWTOR raids start at 8, and then bed by 11(If I can help it). This structure doesn’t give me a lot of down time to get bored and then eat because of that.

Weekends are generally unstructured and lackadaisical affairs that support constant snacking and eating of all bad things. I also  fall back on drinking soda on the weekends, as I tend to be too lazy to make tea to drink or water is to blah. Plus, we are more likely to eat out on the weekend and not exercise. Hence, weekends make my daily weight jump up a pound or so. That doesn’t sound bad but it undoes all of the “good” eating I’ve done all week. So I’ll lose about a pound during the week and then gain it back over the weekend.

This past weekend was supposed to be a lot like that. Nothing planned for the whole weekend but a few chores and a lot of lazy time. Friday hit with some bad news and started weekend off on a sour note. Turns out student loans are still unaffected by bankruptcy and can still destroy all plans I have for my life. Fun. BUT! Things turned around Saturday with the decision to return to school and that, coupled with a great feeling of turning my life around, kept me on a great pace to survive the weekend with minimal damage to my diet. I made it through Saturday and Sunday with minor snacking. Yay.

I was very proud of myself.

Monday rolled in and I was only up 0.4 instead of the normal pound or so. Awesome way to start the week, I was very excited that things were going my way. I wasn’t hungry all day, and I felt like I could take on the world. Monday night rolled in and I was given some devastating news. I wasn’t able to get financial aid for school and private loans are completely out of the picture. I wanted to avoid more debt if possible but was willing to do that to get my goals completed. (It helped that I wanted to get deeper into a field where 80k is about starting salary.) This dashed my high hopes from this weekend and sent me down a spiral of hopelessness that I’m still dealing with as I write.

I didn’t quite realize how much hope I was hanging on this, and so the down is a lot like a 4 year old who has just crashed from a super sugar high. Lots of crying and temper tantrums. Seriously, just because I’m 30 doesn’t mean I have to act like I’m 30 all the damn time. It’s not often I can take a night and just completely break down emotionally and cry like a crazy person. I’ve got at least 2 hours before I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with life. I’m taking advantage of getting that out now instead of later when I don’t have time to be all depressed.

So, my hard road just got a whole lot harder. What does this have to do with diets? Everything and nothing. Everything because my mood will make it harder to not say “fuck it I want a brownie” or “I don’t feel like exercise today”, which will destroy the work I’ve done this past month. Nothing because this shouldn’t (ideally) affect my ability to maintain my current goals.

I am proud that when it got bad tonight the worse decision I made was to reach for a can of Mt. Dew. So It undid a little, but that;’s better then more normal reaction, which would be to go get ice cream and eat all of it…

I try to be an optimist. It’s harder when life is being crappy, but I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. I still have a house, a Dan, and many other luxuries that many don’t have. Keeping life in perspective when it gets crappy sucks but you can either sit then and whine and let life happen to you or you can get up and keep trying. Sure, my financials will be tight for a while and life will be a bit trickier but it could be worse.

Plus… its hard to be that upset when you see the scale doing down…